George W. Bush Fishes For Love On Father’s Day

George W. Bush and Laura Bush were sitting at the pitted red oak square table in the dining room of Building B at Camp David in Maryland. Jenna Bush was standing at the long table against the pine paneled wall which contained a large decanter of black coffee and several trays of donuts and bagels and hot trays of scrambled eggs and bacon and hash brown potatoes.

“So, it’s Father’s Day. What do you want to do?” asked Laura Bush.

“Fishing. I want to go fishing with my son,” said President George W. Bush.

“Ha ha. You want to go fishing with Jenna?” asked Laura.

“No. I want to go fishing with my son. With my son. But that ain’t going to happen now, is it? That just ain’t going to happen,” said Bush.

“George, maybe it would be best if we did not go down this road right now,” said Laura.

Jenna walks up to the oak breakfast table and takes a seat with a china plate full of two glazed donuts (300 calories each) and a cup of coffee with cream and sugar.

“Jenna, I want you to know I love you,” said Bush.

“Yes Daddy. I love you too,” said Jenna as she chomped down on a hunk of one of the glazed donuts.

“I love you very much. More than you could know. But the situation, the problem is that you are not, well, you are not a son, my son. So that is a problem,” said Bush.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” said Jenna.

“He’s not saying anything,” said Laura.

“Do you know what a clinch knot is? An improved clinch knot?” asked Bush of his daughter Jenna.

“Is this a fishing thing?” asked Jenna.

“This is Father’s Day. Father’s Day. You need to know how to tie a lure to fishing line,” said Bush.

“Right. OK, Dad. Well, then, teach me,” said Jenna.

“Laura, see what I mean. We need to have a son,” said Bush.

“It’s a little late for that,” said Laura.

“Can you like stop eating your donuts for a second to listen to me. I need for you to be my son, Jenna. Not really. But the spirit of a son. I need it for my, for my, for my well being, my self esteem. Like right now, on Father’s Day, I need you to be my son right now real bad,” said Bush.

“What do you want? You want me to go fishing with you?” asked Jenna.

“More than that. I want you to know how to fish. To know the essence of fishing. The beauty of it,” said Bush.

“Dad, be real. It’s a stick with a string and hook attached and you toss it in a lake or a river and jab a hook in the mouth of a poor little fish. Like what’s the essence of that,” said Jenna.

“See Laura. See Laura. I need a son,” said Bush.

“Yes George, I would agree. You do need a son,” said Laura.

“I have a present for you,” said Jenna.

“Oh yeah,” said Bush.

“But I haven’t gotten it yet. Mom’s going to take me shopping,” said Jenna.

“It’s Sunday. You’re going shopping on Sunday?” said Bush.

“I’m taking Jenna to Manhattan on the helicopter. No media announcement. Quiet. Stores are open,” said Laura.

“Go to Capitol Tackle and get me some fishing gear. It’s on 23rd Street,” said President Bush.

“We are going to the new Apple store on Fifth Avenue,” said Laura.

“Yeah. I want to see it, plus we can get you the new video iPod,” said Jenna.

“This is Father’s Day. This is a low-tech day. I want fishing stuff,” said Bush.

“What fishing stuff do you want, Dad?” asked Jenna.

“Anything. Anything related to fishing so I can know, so I can feel, so I can sense that I did something related to fishing on Father’s Day, OK? OK?” said Bush.

“Let’s do it Mom. That’s what Daddy wants,” said Jenna.

“We’ll see,” said Laura.

“Get me a lure. Any lure. I need to hook something,” said Bush.

“You got it Dad. A lure. I’ll get you a lure,” said Jenna.

“One with lots of colors. Shiny colors. Crankbait,” aid Bush.

“Crankbait?” asked Jenna with a mound of donut in her mouth.

“It’s got a big lip that forces the lure to drop in the water as you reel it in,” said Bush.

“Crankbait takes a dive, is that it. Sounds great. Happy Father’s Day,” said Jenna.

“Thanks,” said President Bush.

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1 Comment »

1. Did Jenna have her clothes on?

   Comment by Roger MIller — July 24, 2006 @ 12:02 pm

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