Ann Coulter and Michael Moore Have Sex – Part One: THE ACT

Ann Coulter was on top, Michael Moore on the bottom. This is the way Ann preferred it. Michael did not have a choice because of his girth. How it came to pass that these two individuals would be having sex together is another story. It was a motel, a small one with dark green but faded shingles, a single story with twenty three rooms, numbered from two to twenty four, number one being the motel office. It was called the Bangor Motel. Simple. And appropriate since it was outside of Bangor, Maine. Michael liked the poetry of it. He kept thinking “Bang Her” Motel, which is what he was doing at the moment, although Ann was working a lot harder than he was.

Ann looked down as she moved her hips rhythmically, glancing occasionally at the large mound of fat that moved like a bowl of red Jello. Michael Moore was not only fat, but he was very pale and somewhat hairy, blotched with red spots. Ann saw the red spots as Michael’s circulatory system struggling to deliver blood to outlying areas, succeeding only at finding the places where the red spots congregated. Ann’s slender but tight muscular arms were extended, her palms moving from the white sheets of the bed to her thighs, and back again, avoiding touching Michael. There was a mirror above the headboard and Ann saw herself. Her breasts were a healthy size, small cantalopes, and although firm, they were undulating up and down with each of her movements. She liked her body, and as her thick long blond hair moved, it tickled her back. It made her smile, almost giggle.

Michael was glad to see Ann smiling. Good. She’s enjoying it. He certainly was. He had never been to this part of Maine before, but there was something special that it gave him and that was a sense of peaceful isolation. And if you are going to be having a conjugal visit with Ann Coulter, it is best to be isolated, Michael thought. Michael reached out and grabbed Ann’s waist, a hand on each side. Ann’s waist curved in to a size where Michael thought his finger tips could actually touch each other. A hard thin body. He thought this was typical of conservatives. Very worked out, like Schwarznegger. Liberals might be thin, but they were thin from organic food and twigs and berries. Conservatives ate what they wanted and consumed whatever they wanted and then tried to cover it all up with exercise. Dishonest, but damn Ann had nice arms and shoulders.

Ann’s eyes went back into her head and her mouth opened, her breathing was harsh and noisy, grasping for oxygen as she shook and trembled. Michael also started to heave and he felt it. It came up his legs and into his thighs and it went down his belly and into his groin, meeting in one big explosion. Michael had almost forgotten what it was like. It had been so long, about three years actually. Four, five, six squirts of pleasure. Wow. Wow. Yes.

Ann reacted to Michael’s pleasure and she screamed. Yes, it was a scream, that is how Michael heard it. He wondered if there was anyone in Room 18 which was immediately on the otherside of the wall behind him. Ann muted her scream. Well, it wasn’t really a scream. It was just noise, muffled, channeled, controlled.

Ann went limp and fell to the bed. Michael’s body was taking up most of the real estate, so Ann fell to a sliver of bedsheets to Michael’s left. Ann was on her side, but she made the mistake of falling on her right side, facing a wall of white hairy flesh. A wall of Michael.

Ann Coulter and Michael Moore lied together in Room 17 of the Bangor Motel for several minutes without talking. Ann then pushed herself off the bed, stood and stretched. Michael watched Ann massage her arms and tight body with her long fingers, working the blood, her blond hair wet with sweat hung down almost to her waist.

“I’m taking a shower. Then we’ll have dinner,” said Ann.

Giving directions, thought Michael. Typical. He was hungry too. Dinner would be good. But he didn’t think it appropriate he join Ann in the shower. He would wash up afterwards.

To Be Continued.

| Stumble it! |

1 Comment »

1. To quote Keith Olberman….

   Appearing in Playboy and getting divorced ….neither of those being scenarios Ann Coulter is ever going to have to deal with in her life.

   Comment by Lucien de la Peste — June 8, 2006 @ 4:04 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>